It wasn’t that Aubrey was prevaricating over having the exorcism done, it was just that he couldn’t decide what to wear. What did one don for an evening of devil banishment? Was it going to get messy? Were liquids likely to be expelled? He sighed and plonked down on his bed. It was all so difficult. He was sure life had been simpler in London where one just got duffed up regularly on the way home from the club. He opened his wardrobe and flicked rather disconsolately through richly coloured garments. But then he came across a rather darling blue snakeskin gilet and began to cheer up.
Downstairs the vicar and Valentine Chevaux were getting a little impatient. Both were keen to get going; Valentine was missing drinks at the De Morely’s in Little DeRisory and Rev’d Wattle was eager to find out how all this stuff worked. He was hoping that a successful exorcism might find favour with the Bishop; and he needed a few brownie points. But he musn’t push poor Aubrey too hard, he thought, this was clearly going to be a challenging experience for the poor man. It might not be pleasant being spiritually cleansed.
“Sinclair you great Fairy, get down here!” bellowed Valentine.
“Oh do have a heart, I’ve got to get this right” replied Aubrey from the landing. “You’ll not be throwing things over me or using fire at all will you?” he asked.
“Oh no dear chap. Nothing like that. No, nothing too unpleasant. But I think perhaps we should all sit together in a moment of contemplation before we begin don’t you?” said the Vicar.
“Oh yes splendid idea. I’ll mix us each a White Lady” said Aubrey as he descended the stairs and this time, even the Vicar’s mouth fell open (and he’d seen a few things in his time) as he beheld the sequined bolero top, bare midriff and coral coloured leggings being sported by Mr Sinclair.
“Good God!” spurted Valentine.
“Oh have we begun?” asked Aubrey with furrowed brow and sat gingerly on the wooden plank that had been lashed between two pieces of furniture. “Only I really must insist that I have a cocktail before we kick off. My nerves need steadying.”
“Good idea” said the Vicar, who was suddenly feeling a little apprehensive about the whole thing himself on account of Mr Sinclair’s belly button being on show. It was an ‘outy’ of course.
Quick as you like, Aubrey had shaken three icy White Ladies and the three men sat sipping at the nectar-like beverages. “I must say, these are bloody great” said Valentine and the vicar nodded his agreement. So they had a couple more and suddenly the sequins on Aubrey’s top began to seem quite lovely. After his fourth White Lady, Rev’d Wattle lay down on the exorcism plank and closed his eyes for a moment. Valentine wandered out into the garden to look at the stars and Aubrey sat looking through plates of Judy Garland’s finest years with tears streaming down his cheeks.